Is there something that you are doing to yourself that is causing you strife, unease, discomfort, or pain?  If so, consider this your wake up call.  It could be a relationship that you are choosing to be in— or a situation in your life that brings you discomfort.

We all choose our actions and our lives.  Sure there are circumstances that are beyond our control, but in most cases the events, people, and situations in our lives are there because we have chosen them.  We decide to spend time with that person who makes us uncomfortable or volunteer for that thing that we don’t really like to do.  But unlike my infant son, you have more motor control.

If you are in a situation that is causing you anxiety or grief, first recognize it.  Understand it is you who is choosing this.  And then ask yourself, “Am I going to continue to choose this thing that causes me pain?”

If the answer is “Yes” then ask yourself “Why?” and learn why you are making this choice.   Then, you can identify the benefits that you actually get from the situation and lean on that.

If the answer is “No,” make the change.  You don’t have to keep hitting yourself in the head!  You’re bigger than that!  And you deserve better.  Say no to commitments you don’t want to do.  Stop hanging out with people that bring you down.  Make the change you know you must and feel a whole lot better.

Aimée Cartier is an intuitive, author, and speaker.  More about her work can be found at www.spreadingblessings.com.

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.  You are already naked.  There is no reason not to follow your heart.”  –Steve Jobs

Thank you for coming Steve Jobs.  Thanks for your vision and all that you’ve given.  The world is a better place because of your magic.

This is my husband Jason.  He is a total goofball with a great head of hair.  Admittedly you can’t really tell he has a face in this photo but he trust me, he does.  In any case, he constantly makes me laugh.  In fact, one time I did a whole stand-up comedy routine about things he has actually said and done.  Eventually, I’ll get around to posting it.

These days we share our bed, not only often with the cat, but also at some point in the night with our son who nurses before he gets put back into his crib.  Sometimes this severely adjusts the space spectrum in the bed for the whole night.

Here is the scene: Early AM, husband and wife still in bed, just waking up.

Jason, “Honey, look how much room I have.”

Me, hopeful but noncommittal, “Is that a lot?”

Without missing a beat, Jason, “Sure.  If you like your lips pressed against the wall.”

A ten minute laughing fest ensues.

It’s good to wake up to funniness even when, or especially when, the situation may be less than desirable.

Boy, I’m glad I married this man!

Excerpted from the book Getting Answers: Using Your Intuition to Discover Your Best Life by Aimée Cartier

Although fear is a natural human experience that we may not be able to control having, we do have control over whether or not we let fear dictate our actions.

One of the most profound lessons that I learned about fear came up one day while I was hiking in the Colorado Rockies. I was standing in the woods by myself eating a hard-boiled egg when three ptarmigan birds approached. They stood there watching as the crumbs fell from my hands, and before long they began to go for them. Gathering courage, they were soon snatching up crumbs practically off of my feet.

Their brazenness made me think they might even eat out of my hand. So I put some crumbs in my right palm and held it out. In a matter of moments a grey and white bird was flying straight at me. My heart beat so quickly that at the last second I jerked my hand away. Three times this happened. I was afraid–actually, I was petrified. Visions of puncture wounds from bird claws flashed through my mind. I saw the gaping hole that the beak was sure to leave in my palm as it grabbed the egg white. I wondered, Will I ever be able to use that hand again? What do I have in the car that I might wrap my wound in as I drive myself to the hospital?”

These thoughts were going through my mind and blood was racing through my veins, when it dawned on me that my own fear was robbing me of what could be one of the most amazing experiences of my life—having wild birds come to me and eat right out of my hand. Am I going to let my own fear deprive me of this experience? I asked myself. Just then, the words of my meditation teacher flash through my mind. She said, “A yogi is not one who does not experience fear, but rather one who stares fear in the face and watches it back down.”

I decided right then and there that I would not let fear destroy this moment. And I decided to get out and put on the thin gloves that I had in my glove box! Planting my feet on the ground, and taking a deep breath, I held out my arm with the glove and egg crumbs and stared straight ahead. The bird flew at me again and landed to grab the crumbs. For fifteen minutes the birds landed on my hand, staying longer each time. They began to eat standing on my (now ungloved) palm, not even bothering to fly away to swallow their treat. They were so gentle, perching effortlessly and pecking the crumbs without even grazing my palm. By the end they were perching two at a time, silently taking in long drinks of my appearance. I was elated! Standing in the middle of the forest looking into the eyes of wild birds perched on my own outstretched hand was an unbelievable experience.

It continued. A few hours later, as I packed up, I returned to the same spot, and opened my empty hand. Almost immediately the birds answered my call, their soft feathery touch alighting on my palm. Beady eyes met human eyes once more as we watched each other for several long moments. It was an experience I will never forget, one I come back to again and again as I think about and experience fear. It showed me the kind of magic that is waiting for me when I override my fear.

Aimée will be in Seattle October 20th, 2011 speaking on the topic of transforming fear.  See details here.

-Anthonly de Mello, Jesuit priest and psychotherapist

Join Aimée on October 20th at East West Books in Seattle where we will explore fear– and learn how to transform it into something more powerful for you!

Materials: card stock, a scissors, glue, markers, colorful paper, magazines.

It doesn’t take that long… you can keep it simple… Here are some ideas.

Ideas: put designs around the edges and then write one of your favorite poems in the middle…or cut out words that you love and paste them on the card, or cut out a happy word in one color paper and paste it on the postcard.  Presto– you’ve got your own homemade postcard ready for sending.

Put it in the mail!  The next piece of the fun is in the sending.  Think of how fun it is to get unexpected mail!  Send it to someone in your family, a friend that lives far away or a friend that lives close by.  Or send it to someone in your community who deserves thanks for all of the help that they give— it can be just a little note to let them know they are appreciated.

I like to make a bunch at a time when I’m inspired and then have them on hand when I want to send someone a special hello!

Happy crafting.

for this most amazing day

for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky

and for everything which is natural

which is infinite which is YES!

-ee cummings

One of my favorite poems!

If I were to keep a list right now it would be miles long of all of the things that need to be done.  Everything from weeding and planting in the garden, to putting laundry away, to changing sheets, and making food, to blog writing and office work.  I have a two-month old baby.  And of the short list of 3-4 things I would like to get done each day, I’m lucky if one gets checked off.

As I was standing in the garden the other day experiencing frustration at the realization that yet again I wasn’t going to get anything done, I thought to myself  “you know what, the truth is I just can’t get that much done right now and I can either get mad about it or accept it.”  As I stood there looking at the roses that needed clipping and the bolting lettuce plants growing in my yard I thought, “Life must not be about accomplishing things.  I know this because I can’t get anything done —AND I’m growing new life.”

But this experience isn’t just for nursing mothers.  How many times have each of us encountered a day in which you got done a fraction of what you wanted to accomplish or thought you could do?  I would say that is quite common.  It always takes longer to do things than we think.

And suddenly it occurred to me in a whole new way, “It’s really not about what we get done.  The list of things to do in life is endless.  Once one thing is done, another appears.  It’s really about enjoying it as we go along.”  As little or as much as you can get done in a day, if you do it with a conscious feeling of enjoying what you are doing— you experience happiness.  Your days, minutes, moments are worthwhile, this living feeds you.

As I walked into the house to fetch my son who was just waking up from a nap, I felt happy.  Once I let go of the notion of what I needed to accomplish in a day, I realized I felt quite fine about what I was doing.  Actually, I loved it.

So, if you’re having or have ever had the experience of not accomplishing as much as you’d like, remember the goal in life is not how much you get done, it’s how much you enjoy it along the way. What you are able to do varies, and is often not as much as you think.  But how you go about doing it, is completely in your control, and in fact choosing to enjoy it, will make your life worthwhile, whatever big or little amount you are able to do.

Aimée Cartier is an author and intuitive.  Find out more at www.spreadingblessings.com.

Did you know that almost anything in your life can be positively affected by choosing your mind set.  Take a belief that you have right now that is not serving you– and provide yourself with the antidote.  Ask yourself what the opposite of that belief is.  Write it down.  Say it to yourself all day long.  See how that feels.